| where's the beef? |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|04:15 pm] |
SO, everybody knows Im against cheesy diets and other fads. Mainstream TV ideas rarely appeal to me. To me, this diet displays a weakness in character that you need to take an easy way out of things. Is eating right and working out really so hard?
When you walk around, have you noticed that people have become thinner? I haven’t either.. But everybody and their mom is on Atkins. What does this tell us?
Shit, maybe it’s not working.
I love when I go home to Orlando to visit friends and crash, unwillingly, at my mom’s house. Actually this is a good thing. A free tank of gas is like an early Christmas to a college kid. Or kwanzaa. I celebrate kwanzaa.
Anyway. So inevitably she takes me out to Orlando Alehouse on the Friday night that I get home for some pre 7 o’clock $1 drinks, and dinner.
Normally I believe that I eat very healthy, but home with family and friends is hardly a time to suppress a little well earned gluttony.
So were about to eat our food and I see these fried, battered, chicken strips covered in a glop of cheese and a bucket of ranch dipping sauce to top it off put in front of my mom. This is a heart attack on a plate. I don’t even say anything because I already know what she’s thinking. "I read a blurp in my Women’s World Magazine about the Atkins diet and blah blah blah this will help me lose 15 lbs in 15 days"
2 years ago my mom would have probably ordered a huge house salad with crutons and bread on the side, and washed it all down with about one and a half whiskey sours before mumbling incoherently about something.
But thanks to the good Doctor, a heart attack on a plate, washed down with some Mich Ultra and then some more chicken wings is the secret to weight loss success. Fruit is for people who just don’t know any better.
Of course Id love to meet the good doctor in person but I read he died a while back at the ripe age of 72. To my surprise it wasn’t for health reasons, but due to a slip and fall. At the time of his death he was about 260 lbs. That’s odd. Shouldn’t the Jesus of weight loss be, kinda.. thin?
The crafty Atkins folks rebounded with a logical answer. the good doctor gained about 60 lbs in the 8 days he was in a coma before his departure, so he was really about 195to 200 lbs.
Amazing. If I ate 10 cheeseburgers and 20 apples a day for the next 8 days id be lucky if I gained 10 lbs.
Alright, I'm sick of writing about this. I guess my point is,
next time your waiting for what seems forever to get that close parking spot at the grocery store where you will pick up, among other things, some new organic, low carb, chocolate ice cream, do yourself a favor and park in the back where your car wont get hit by a cart, burn about 20 extra cals walking past the bozos who are still waiting and buy a fuckin apple instead. |
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| degenerate. |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|07:08 pm] |
its been a while since ive updated, but the river run is definately worth writing about. over 100 went this year. awesome. I was pretty pumped that Foote was my partner, always a good time with that guy, but at the same time, pretty pissed cuz its the last time most of us are ever gonna see him again, because Colorado will be calling his name in about 3 weeks. :(:(:( we're all gonna miss ya bro. Me more than most.
This years Suwannee River Waterfalls consisted of half can Beast Lite, half can Jack Daniels/SoCo. Drinnan and Anthony took it like champs. Trey, however, kept confusing it with some sort of Rocky River Mountain High, and believed that every day was a happy happy Chuudes Day. Apparently he pulled the trigger but I wasnt aware of my surroundings enough to see it.
Step up awards go to Chuude for coming to the pre-party strait from Europe as well as for bringing Trey the entertainer who again passed out face down in a cooler on the side of the river. Awards also go to Drinnan, Anthony, and Blake for donating every ounce of their alcohal to us without a fight. Drinnan also chaffed his balls to jump out of trees on my command. excellent green tag.
Step down award goes yet again to Francis for his debauchery with Team 88 for the SECOND YEAR IN A ROW.
what are they now, sophimores? I guess we wont be able to confirm age until they get licenses. The Lyman kids learned a lesson last year, its time you did too man.
Alright this is all i can recall for now. more will come as i remember it.
2 bros, 6 cases, 1 handle, and alot of river juice will do that to ya.
pure degeneracy. |
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| im pretty sure it was crack |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|06:00 pm] |
SO yesterday was my 4th day at work, and definately the least fun. I had a shift in the morning, and then picked up for Pete at night, = 13 hours strait of Sonny's fun. around 5:30, a crack head and his crack-ette come strolling in...to my section of course. The guys face looked like a skinnier version of Mick Jagger with the exact same haircut as Side Show Bob from the simpsons. no joke. Like a plant of tightly curled hair sprouted out of the top of his head. Anyway, after 30 seconds or so of trying to get his drink order, watching him stare at his own hands, he produced a coupon that looked like it was made (poorly) in photoshop. Then mumbled something in crack tongue about the crying baby. (there was none) and then mumbled "salad bar", in broken English this time.
jumping at the chance to get away, ran off, got them plates, put in the order, and when i came back they were gone.
great, all the managers come out asking rediculous questions of what I did to make the guy leave and this, that, whatever. great. this looks awesome. The new guy has a customer leave on him.
Of course the cooks still made his food for no reason they would find out, and never got off my case the rest of the night, and the cashiers fumbled the mystery ticket around screwing up my next 4 tables orders. everybody was pissed at me, all because Side Show Bob chose to smoke rocks and sit in my section.
I havent had a day like this in years....
alright, im done venting. Late. |
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| Chocolate Syrup |
[Apr. 11th, 2004|03:56 pm] |
I thought this weekend since everybody was goin home it was gonna be lame up here but id have to say the social life has been pretty damn good. Friday Cuban came to town this weekend, met his new girl who definately has my blessing. Heather Graham.. good name. she knew of some party here in town that turned out to be really good. Liquor Ice Louges, and a stripper pole. fantastic.
Last night Petes Beach attire tiki party was a little too much for the neighbors. Flip cup is like a donut bait for cops, its just a lose-lose situation. And the proper term for the little Air Arm bands that kids use to learn to swim is "Swimmies" get it right. Needless to say that one got broken up. I think it was the same cop as last weeks Hershey Syrup Wrestling party. he wasnt nearly as nice this time.
I think the only other issue of any concern is what Nick and I are doin for the B-days this year. Nick is exactly 1 year younger than me to the day, but of course looks about 3 years older. I guess the problem is most of my really close friends are in Gville and Orlando, which makes me wanna head to the 'Wood for some partying with the good ole boys, but in the same sense, Nick's become one of my closest friends too and its his birthday as well, so I wanna celebrate it with him, especially since hes graduating and moving away in 3 months. hmmm...
late. |
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| team 88 loves Lyman, i love Fair Skin, kyle loves death |
[Mar. 29th, 2004|10:14 am] |
Everybody I know from here to Gville, all the way down to Otown is starting to get on edge about the upcoming weekend of Sin, known as the river run. Im still trying to put the pieces together of last years drunken booze cruise. lets see..
you can find out alot about a persons inner beauty when they drink. some people know they have gone past a healthy limit and stop themselves, reluctantly, then there is Kyle. Kyle preferes to unleash the hurricane and enter "self destruct" mode and just keeps drinking more and more until he blacks out. sort of like a punishment to himself for getting smashed in the first place. in doing so he almost drown himslef in a cooler, face down, bobbing for beers. (visual.. river, canoe, butt up, face down, not moving.. rolling down the river). Also offending every type of minority except for Puerto Ricans seen known to this country. Blacks, Jews, gays. The NAACP was not happy. Nobody was safe.
We also all have to remember last years debauchery between team 88, and Abercrombie boy.
The guy who I heard was at the time the main Abercrombie model came on the trip. seemed harmless enough, although not too bright. Also on the trip were a group of 3 young rascal 'tweens who would later be known in our circle as "Team 88" as in, ya, i was born in 19 frickin 88.
not a one single memeber of Team 88 was cute, or even had the 'check me out in 4 years when im legit' cute, thing going.
no matter. Abi boy and a team member disappeared for a while. definately Step Down award.
lastly we all remember the blinding light of truth that is Foote without his shirt on. This guy is my partner this year, and im greatful for it in many ways. The suns light literally reflects off him because of his rediculously natural "fair" skin tone. This also means ill have to buy Sun Shield 5000 sunblock, but hey, hes worth it.
time for class..
Blouses, out.
late |
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| lost... |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|12:17 am] |
Witty but humble, shy but confedent, graceful, intelligent, athletic, long beautiful dark hair, she cant help but show her beautiful smile, perfect pouty kissable lips, great ass, georgeous deep eyes you can get lost in for hours, absolutely stunning Christian girl :)
~and she has no idea. |
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| surplus |
[Mar. 21st, 2004|12:04 pm] |
nothing crazy, just tidbits.
Im broke so my roomy is gonna try and get me a job at Sonny's. the irony is of course i really think the food there is tasteless and bland. On the positive side Its A) a job. B) one that pays about $13-$17 an hour, cash. Moreover, to get there I have to Jump on I-10, this proved useful, as I now know backroads to the Interstate that will cut about 10-15 minutes off my commutes to Gville and Orlando.
Speaking of Gville, its been a good while since Ive gone, so I think ill be heading down either this weekend coming or next. Staying at SAE always reassures me that my drinking problems are not nearly as severe as i sometimes suspect. Its always nice to see Jason and Kyle down there. On that note, Kyle informed me I need to pick up "The da Vinci Code" I must have been living on the moon because ever since mentioned, almost everybody I know either owns or is barrowing it. get with it Jonny. Just the stir up among the religious right, and Science is enough to sell me on it. On one side I have a Roman Catholic telling me It points out all of the contradictions and general misleadings of the Bible and gives proven documentation on yadda yadda yadda..and in the other Corner I have an Irish Catholic telling me its interesting but fictional. If youve read it , let me know what ya think. HoSway also informs I need to pick up the paperback "Art of War" Im pretty embarrassing actually that I have never read it.
anyway, its a gorgeous day out, time for the gym and some pool
Lates |
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| PS. |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|02:24 pm] |
and yes I forgot.
Thursday night watched a movie with Anna, then we headed out to the party together. yes it was good.
And no, were NOT dating, since you all asked when I left the room :)
lates. |
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| eventful |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|12:27 pm] |
Spring Breakdown...
Down to Orlando: worked in a bar for a night, found some culture/nice ass/Lamborghinis, etc.
over to Siesta: Too much Jager/SoCo/kegs to remember why I got kicked out 3 days in
Off to the strip club: met my wife (we'll call her Bubbles) I think she was just dancing with those other guys to make me jelous
Almost off to Jail: Kegstands on the beach attract the wrong kind of girls, young
Back to Orlando: met every red blooded mans fantasy from Lake Brantley, Courtney Mayor.
Later that night: got sexually assaulted by her best friend, (no means no, really)
Over to Smyrna: Club Spread Eagle in full effect.
Back Downtown: 7 course meals on the 18th floor. $700 check
over to Kyles: Fell asleep with Marylin Monroe
Woke up: Saw "the passion", no need for tissues
hit the road: 6 hour trip back to Tally with the best of company
sleepin it all off..
:):):) |
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| down town Wood |
[Mar. 5th, 2004|04:19 am] |
SO im hangin out tonight figuring out what plans im gonna make for the evening, and my buddy Riece calls me up asking if I wanna make some quick cash workin down at the bar (one eyed Jacks/wallstreet cantina). basically working 9:30-2 handing out cups to people walking outside to pour their drinks in because you cant have glass out near the street. cool, that sound like fun actually.
This was quite an experience. Until tonight i thought that the girls at FSU dressed naughty when they went out, i was way way off. most of the girls i talked to tonight had little more than 2 band-aids and a cork for attire. The place was absolutely packed, though I found out later that this was a "slow" night.
Being the cup guy on the street basically means every single person in the bar, and all the people from the neighboring bars must walk past, and in some fashon, interact with me while bar hopping. lesson number 2 i learned: after a few drinks, girls are every bit as shallow and sex crazed as us guys. I probably had my ass pinched 12 times, and saw attractive girls making fools of themselves to impress in my opinion very unworthy guys.
This all leaded me to a later conclusion that this is what bar life is like for the singles who dont find their significant other in college. skirts get much shorter, and standards of morality drop to extremes. Of course, i noticed all of this because myself and the cute UCF girl helping me were absolutely sober. SOBER
I cant remember the last time ive been at a bar past 11 and been so aware of my surroundings. Im a people watcher by nature so i found it very entertaining to say the least.
anyway, that was the easiest 75 bucks ive ever made, and definately the most fun.
moral of the story: when i get back from Siesta Key im applying for a job at a bar in Tally.
have a good spring break everyone:) |
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| foote makes me think.. |
[Mar. 2nd, 2004|11:43 am] |
I was reading one of Foote's recent literary works on his constant growing need to get the hell out of dodge and it got to me. "Dodge" of course being the rotting cespool of Orlando. I never realized he felt so strongly about it, much Like I did when I was stuck there. Im glad I read his article because It in a way, made me realize how much Ive been taking this Tally Life for granted. Anyone who has known me since highschool knows how much I despise Longwood, and the post high school life that surrounded me there. I guess thats why Im still so bitter about 2 subject when poked at: my weight, and the school I now attend. You just dont know what i went through to get here.
However. Foote's letter also left room for positive ideas as well. His looking forward to heading out to Colorado and going to a "real" school, with a real campus life, and real school pride also reminded me of exactly what Ive experienced.
it sounds bad in alot of ways but my views as of late have been as "freshmen" as it gets. While most of my friends are looking forward to getting out of this dodge and head into the real world of wives and 9 to 5's and changing diapers, All i can think about is my first bachelor Spring break in 4 years, who is gonna replace Chris Rix, and how to arrange my classes to keep this 3 day weekend tradition alive. Neither viewpoint is wrong (I hope), But It was nice being reminded that while growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
Soon Footes gonna leave us and head to Colorado, and then he'll know what I mean.
Nostalgic.
Late. |
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| dirty |
[Feb. 29th, 2004|03:06 am] |
ok, i will not fib, yes im shadyfaced right now.
heres is whats in store for me tomorrow..
a whole lot of bullshit over a rediculous subject that meant nothing in the first place.. . ahhhhhh how i do not look forward to this...where are my bros when i need em? |
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| I prefer Syrup... |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|11:22 pm] |
LisaTurtle307: ok question
LisaTurtle307: y is it called blowing?
LisaTurtle307: like, do girls actually blow?
LisaTurtle307: cus i never have
FSUjonnyD: you realize im gonna post this
LisaTurtle307: lol thats fine
LisaTurtle307: i might just make that my question for tomorrow
FSUjonnyD: i think if a girl ever actually "blew" my cock id laugh and pat her on the head
LisaTurtle307: haha
FSUjonnyD: i guess "suck job" sounds a little too harsh for the masses
LisaTurtle307: haha
LisaTurtle307: o thats def. going on the post
FSUjonnyD: like "anal sex" instead of "butt sex"
LisaTurtle307: nobody marries the up-the-butt girl
FYI.. Lisa is a very sweet, good hearted friend of mine.. I just posted this cuz apparently even sweet, good hearted girls have random weird sex Q's and I thought it was funny coming from her.
Late. |
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| hmm |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|11:58 am] |
Headed to the 'wood this weekend, and it was better than expected. Usually whenever I have to go to Orlando, i just stop in Gville on the way there, and and end up Stayin at SAE the whole time, but this time I had some important things to take care of, as well as a 21st Birthday for my buddy Drinnan. Foote threw an excellent party at his place for the Bday Boy, I ended up getting really smashed and rallied some troops to light up drinnans ass with 21 slaps for 21 years. Im sure hes still having problems sitting, cuz my hand still hurts.
Next night we headed to Some random party with Lyman alums. some of the people were alright but for the most part all they liked to do was stand in circles and say the word "Fuck" as many times as possible.
I overheard this one loudmouth sloot saying "the only thing virgin on my body are my arm pits and ass crack".
Lovely.
more on this later.. i gtg to class
late |
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| D. Blasphemy |
[Feb. 12th, 2004|01:45 pm] |
Huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders recently.. Both of my roomates are moving out by the beginning and end of Summer, and I thought I was gonna be here, all by myself, no furniture, no silverware, NOTHING but whats in my room, and start all over with 2 random roomates. Needless to say, i didnt find this situation appealing. However, I just found out that my buddy Pete was in need of a roomate for his really nice house he lives in. I thought he was graduating but apparently he's on the 5 year plan because playin freshmen Bball for FSU put him behind a little.
the place is pretty cool.. Pool tables, his Dog "Naismith" who understands English better than most humans, lots of space, its about 1.5 times as big as my house in Orlando (doesnt say much) reguardless Im pumped up.
In other news Id like to point out a certain lovely lady that recently confessed she reads my Journals constantly with the intent to stalk... If you check my journal more than once a day (which i noticed many of you do), then you also fall into this catagory.
However, Karen is special. I met her through Liz and have been impressed ever since. However, Im not impressed because she absolutely refuses to cook for me. Why? She can make steak about 10 different way but absolutely will not budge for me. Its dissapointing but she more than makes up for it with her dancing skills. the girl can flat out roll her hips. Stellar. theres just somethin about a girl who can dance well..
Until recently I felt that all girls knew how to dance.. that it was just part of their genetic make-up. not so. Some girls I have found, just have absolutely no flow what so ever. but ill lay off that one.
on a final note, I just wanna give a holler to the boys comin up this weekend from the 'Wood. Blake, Foote, Mitch, and Anthony are comin up for a Lax game against FSU. Since foote is like a brother to me, I hope he scores every goal, but because Im all about FS, UCF still needs to lose by 1. sorry buddy. Im not even sure he plays a position that scores but whatever.
Also Ant and I have to leave at Half time to go to DZ woodser, I hope My date hooked him up with a cutie, cuz im tryin to pursuade him to go here next year, and not dirty ass G-Ville.
that is all, my rant is over
late. |
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| im broke |
[Feb. 10th, 2004|03:08 pm] |
the finances are low but the will is running strong
its weird.. all i can think of lately is the river run.. but its soo far away
For those who dont know, the River Run is quite possibly the greatest weekend of the year. 3 days of pure degeneracy on the Suwannee river, with a Pre-party at RD's to kcik it off. 70-80 people should be attending this year... young, old, married, single. (though I recomend leaving your significant other at home)
This year I have the outstanding please of enjoying Foote's company as my partner. This will be fun. You see.. some people are pussy's when it comes to drinking. Not the case with JCF. I have great faith that he will down a Suwannee waterfall with ease.. half can Beast lite, half Kentucky Bourbon
soon..
off to class, Late |
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| ya... |
[Feb. 7th, 2004|10:25 am] |
Looking back on last night, it really wasnt all that eventful, but..I was pretty sloppy drunk so the drama factor was 10 fold in my head.
Dan and I headed to Stinkles for Free top shelf, I stayed with my usual SoCo and cokes all night while I think he was enjoying Long Islands. No matter. What we both learned was simple and stupid. If you stand with a buddy near the dance floor, not well dressed at all, and just stare at the jumbo screen for some sportscenter, random decent looking girls will make passes at you. I also learned that if you ignore a pass and just let them walk by, you will get quite possibly the dirtiest look a girl can give next time she comes around. Blatent grotesque faces. Very angry girls.
after that we parked it up at the bar in front of the really cute, bubbly bartender. I had made myself a promise that i wasnt gonna drop any bills for tips at all because the night before I had spent so much. However I was drunk and she was a sweetheart so I had to lay down a few. stellar eyes and a great rack probably didnt hurt her either.
Came back the my place and my buddy pete beeps me saying hes coming to a party 6 doors down from me. Awesome.Bring some girls, we'll pre party here. I get 2 phone calls from my roomy from her bed that the girls are being too loud, which is disturbing because she normally can sleep through anything...dumptrucks, alarm clocks, you name it. right as were about to leave, get word the party was broken up.Decided to head back to Petes house and play some pool. Upon heading back to his truck, parked in a visitor spot, Pete realizes his car has been towed. something else we learned last night. Parking in apartments is really gay. Apparently now you must have a "visitor" parking pass to park in visitor spots. what the hell is that all about? Head back inside and our fire alarm starts going off in the entire complex. somebody thought it would be a cool prank. no.
Feel really bad for Jen cuz she has to be up early to dance all day. actually the fire alarm was a good thing cuz it gave me a chance to meet some of my neighbors also waiting outside for it to get shut off. 30 minutes later the fire department shows up.... good lookin out guys, what if it had been a real fire. we assumed they were gonna turn the alarm off but instead just said fuck it, got back in their big red truck, and left us with the alarm still blazing.
This sucks, its now 3 am, and the nights busted. Dan offers a bed at his place so i can get some sleep, awesome. only problem is when i left I locked the door behind me, also locking jen out. damn I really feel for this girl. On top of all this chaos she has just had spacers put in her teeth, so shes in alot of pain, and is soon to have Jaw reconstruction surgery and braces for the second time in her life. id be pissed too.. Fuck it , the nights busted, im not callin anybody back, im off to bed.
ya, not too eventful at all, but in my current state of mind it wasnt bad. replace the cute random girls with the bitchy looks at the bar with little Ali Landry's, and instead of petes car getting towed, lets just say it caught fire.
what did I learn? next time Ill smile at them, even if im not interested, just out of respect for the massive balls it took to make a pass. Tally FD must whack off all day because they surely dont respond to fire alarms quickly, and just because a spot is marked visitor, dont think for a second that its not a trap.
busted busted night.... |
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| fun fun |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|11:09 pm] |
pretty happy cuz some of my highschool buddies from back in the 'Wood are comin up to visit pretty soon for a Lacrosse game. Should be a goodie, Seth Alte versus James Cooper Foote. I think the plan is to stay till the half then Anthony and I are gonna head to the DZ woodser and booze it up, which makes me happy cuz I dont think any of these guys have ID's. should be an excellent V-day weekend. Also lookin forward to seeing a now (hopefully) single mitch-slut. It was always fun going to parties with him and watching him juggling 5 girls at a time. (the girl hes dating, the girl hes nailing on the side, the girl he was nailing that is now bitter, the girl hes trying to nail on the side, and the girls that are all competing to be the next in line). Fun times. Also got word from BuddyLee that his sis is engaged and the wedding is in November.. if all goes well, this will be my 5th wedding in a year. Hells bells son. everybody's gettin hitched.
Fun times...
Late |
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| :( |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|12:27 am] |
normally I wouldnt bring it up because I support peoples right to make their own choices and do what makes them happy. But this whole Benny Hinn/ Peter Popoff dynasty has to go. I changed the channel tonight to see "god" selling us 'Miricle Spring Water' that is guaranteed to bring us vast riches and prosperity. If I see another degenerate get on stage and flop over when Benny shoves his forehead back in the name of the lord im gonna lose it. Make your own future...dont rub a genie's lamp and wish for it.
"Halleluiah, holy shit, wheres the Tylenol"
-NLCV |
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